Non-existant

Diet and exercise has literally been non-existant since I got back from vacation. I can't believe it will be the third week since I have been back.

I also decided to start fertility treatments and so far, they are not working. I feel incredibly vulnerable, angry, sad, and feel like the world is working against me.

I guess there's not much else to say. I just hope I can buckle down next week and at least start walking after work.

The Weekend was Crap

Well the weekend was crap. I ate too much.

Friday evening: Pizza Hut

Saturday: Starbucks: Mango smoothie and salted caramel square; McDonald's: two Mediterranean snack wraps; Dairy Queen: dip cone.

Sunday: Leftover pizza, popcorn, Peanut Butter Rolo ice cream.

Not my best days I tell you.

Now I am back on the bandwagon. I hope I have the cravings for junk food out of my system!

If only I could now get up early and work out! Somehow I feel like giving up now that the trip is over. But I need to keep it up because of *my health* and I need to take care of myself. What worked for me before leaving was making a checklist of items that I had to do every day before going to sleep.

Here's a sample checklist before I left on vacation:

- exercise Shred DVD
- exercise Kickbox DVD
- drink 2 or more bottles of water
- walk after work
- exfoliate lips and elbows
- cream on cuticles
- floss and brush

It's seems like such a chore now!

Not going well

I'm still feeling exhausted from the trip. I haven't been able to start working out yet, I think because of the humidity here. It's sooo hot and I am using it as an excuse. Also, I have been eating really badly especially during lunch. Before I know it, I know I will end up gaining weight :( My appointment with the fertility specialist is July 31st.

While in San Diego, we discovered a lot of interesting snacks. At a grocery store called "Lucky" we found some dried mango covered in chili, some tamarind covered in chili, some lay's chili chips, and lay's chili and lime chips. Also found a pack of 4 cans of fanta for $0.89. How wonderful were these buys!? The husband and I are taking a couple chips per night and 1 piece of dried mango. We are trying to make it last as long as possible!

Back from Vacation

So I am back from vacation. What an amazing time in California: perfect weather, perfect beaches. An annoying family who overfed us. It seemed like they did it on purpose!!

I am going to be overly critical of myself. Just a warning.

When I left for vacation on June 15th in the morning, I was 162 pounds. I was never so happy to see a number in my life. Unfortunately, I knew it would go up during the time off. And yes, it did. I weighed myself when we got back on July 1, and I am back up to 173 pounds. How sad that in a mere 2 weeks I can gain more than 10 pounds. I suppose it could have been worse though.

I looked at pictures from the trip and cannot believe how hideous and fat I look. Why is my upper body so fat?? My arms are gigantic! I think I should get lipo or something. Oh sigh. :( I am sad. And my body feels totally broken that I can't even work out anymore.

Here's a pic from San Diego with Tijuana in the background, one of the very few good pics.